The Disadvantages of Being the Undead
by IceCreamXD
Summary: There's a reason why I have a jug inside my stomach. If I didn't, everything I drank would end up coming out of my pants the very moment the liquid hits the back of my throat. That's right, I'm a zombie. 1x2-x5?   Not AU Duo POV
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing.**

**O.o It's a little different, I hope, from other stories you've all read. After all, it's not every day something THIS weird pops up, right? :D Nyahhh? Well, I hope you read and review. My lazy bum was being creative for once.**

**Pairings: 1x2(x5?) and 3x4**

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There's a reason why I have a jug inside my stomach. If I didn't, everything I drank would end up coming out of my pants the very moment the liquid hits the back of my throat. That's right, no internal organs. They have been gone long ago, and sometimes I find myself missing it. Other times, not so much, especially when I see people pushing pass each other trying to rush to the washroom in urgent need. And of course, there are those unlucky ones who get stuck in the washroom all day. Talk about bad diarrhea. So yes, I do consider myself quite lucky, for a zombie that is.

So I can't eat, big deal. It's not my fault my organs decided to stop all of a sudden. I didn't decide to die one day, and wake up a couple of weeks later only to find that I couldn't breathe, eat, drink or use the washroom. Or to be alive, for that matter, but am I really alive? All that nonstop fiction about zombies eating people, that's a lie. Why would we want to eat when it wasn't even possible? The organs don't work! People really need to find different ways to scare children, I mean, sure I might be as cold as death and a little pale, but hey, that doesn't constitute me as a cannibal.

"Hey, are you ordering something or not? You're not the only one in line!" I blinked, and turned to look behind me. There was a long line of people, all scowling and impatient. Oops. I looked back to the front and smiled sheepishly at the man handling the cashier.

"Right, uh, may I have number three with combo to go?" The man punched in the codes, and nodded me to the side after I paid him. Images are important, even if it was a waste a time.

After receiving my orders, I walked out with the bag in hand. That was the fifth time today that I have zoned out. It's getting quite annoying.

I am still in the process of trying to figure out whose guinea pig I am, what was injected into me and why was I picked out of the millions of people out there. Hell, out of all the different colonies in the world, why me? I mean, sure, I've done some bad things in the past like say being a terrorist, but in my defense I was doing it to save the whole damn world. And look at where that got me? A science project for who knows what. I looked up in time to see a familiar face, and quickly moved to hide in the shadows of the alleyway. I pulled up my hood and waited until the person walked past me and disappeared among the other pedestrians.

"That, my friend, was close." I mumbled to myself, peeking down the sidewalk to make sure that the other person was indeed gone before continuing on the opposite direction. The last thing I needed at this moment, I decided long ago, was to run into anyone from the war. We never did get along, the other Gundam pilots and I except for maybe with blondie, but even that was relatively stiff. They didn't care for me, not the way I did for them. I was stupid to of thought that they would think of us band of people as brothers. Naive, that's what I was and still am. I still hope that someday they will come to realize it. I sighed to myself; naive and stupid, a great combination.

I walked down the sidewalk, the hood casting a dark shadow over my eyes. Passing by a store with televisions loudly blaring newscasts, I finally decided to stop and watch it. Free television was better than no television. After a couple of minutes, I decided to depart from my spot in front of the windowpane, or that was my intention at least, until a particular ad popped up. My eyebrows went above hairline level.

Was that...me?

I stood and watched as red pop-ups jumped around the screen, showing my age, height, gender and when I was last seen. I snorted. I immediately disappeared after the second war, not wanting to stick around for another second longer. I didn't matter, after all, since I was more of a sidekick than anything. A street rat who somehow managed to steal a Gundam and fight his way through the war in the name of revenge. I didn't want any glory. I just didn't want anyone else to suffer the same way I did and live the same life I had. The one Duo Maxwell had.

I find it funny how these campaigns didn't come about until five years after my disappearance. I guess they finally realized I wasn't going for a vacation. Ah well, thinking about the past always made me feel depressed. I should be going now, it's almost time for another check-up. I grimaced. I hated those. Stupid machinery, stupid old man, stupid check-ups. Why didn't I just stay dead the first time around?

I reached the place after walking for another couple of odd blocks or so. Looking up, I stared at the crooked sign that read "Morgue" in bright red paint. That old man needs to change that soon. It's starting to look more like blood day by day. Wouldn't want the police to drop by and close this place down. I pushed open the dark blue, wood door and closed it behind me.

"Gerald!" I called out, my voice echoing down the long hallway. "Hey! I'm here for my check-up!" I push open the sliding doors and stepped into the bright room, the lights momentarily blinding me. "Gah, stupid lights. Why don't you get something fluorescent?" I questioned the scientist in the corner of the room. "Those light white ones. They make the room yellow and less likely to make me lose my eyesight. The lights you have make me feel like I'm staring at the sun."

"Ah, Duo. You're finally here," he glared at me. I shrugged my shoulders and grinned sheepishly. He sighed, giving up. "Come on, sit on the table. I don't want to see you anymore than you want to see me."

I hopped on top of his table. The "autopsy" table, he called it. Yeah, whatever. "So doc, how've you been?"

He gave me another heavy sigh and tapped my arms. "I know it's very hard for you, Duo, but do refrain from talking so much. You're giving me a headache." I scowled at him, crossing my arms together when he was done with them. He tapped my legs next. "Did you find any leads?" Bingo. Straight to the point, just like someone I once knew.

"No. I've searched everywhere, but not even a damn fingerprint." Not to mention this was the same sentence I've been saying for the past five fucking years. Geez, give a guy a break, will you? Can't you just jump out and let me know who the hell you are? Nope, you just got to be so damn annoying and a coward. I always did have the best of luck.

Sarcasm, got to love it.

"Alright, I'm all done. The wires seem to be functioning well, although I will need you to return next week to replace the blood in that container of yours."

I jumped off the table and unrolled my sleeves. "Yeah, you got it. It's not as though I have a choice."

I heard him shuffle around behind me. "Are you sure you'd like to work alone? Wouldn't it be better to ask some help from those old war buddies of yours?" I rolled my eyes. This wasn't the first time he'd asked me this.

"Come on, you're sounding like a mother hen right about now." I smiled when he huffed at me. "I don't need those guys. I can handle it on my own."

"And how long has it been since the first time you've said that? Years, Duo. I won't be around forever to help you."

"You say that now, but we both know you'll live until you're beyond a hundred years old,"I joked, then said, "I need to go now. Any later and I might get jumped on the way home. Not that I can't handle them," I quickly added, trying to assert my masculinity. He snorted at me, cleaning his table and his tools with alcohol.

"If you would just cut that hair of yours-"

"No."

Without a moment's hesitation, I marched out of the room. "I'll catch you next week, old man!" I ignored the curse thrown my way and walked out to the streets. Damn, it really is dark already. Next time, I'll have to carry a watch on me.

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**BAM! I think I ended it a little too quickly. :X Woopsie. I'll try harder next time -.-" Please read and review! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing! **

**Warning: boyxboy **

**Pairing: 1x2 or 1x2x5 **

**Rated: M for language, and some slight sexuality in the future.**

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By the time I've reached home, it was twilight. I pushed the door open. There was no need for a lock for a place like this. Just look at it! It looks like a dump with stupid, steep stairs and broken floor planks. The windows were blocked by wood and black paint, and the door looks like it got attacked by some huge beast or something. Nope, no one would enter such a dirty and broken down house. I did take some precaution though. Now everyone in the city thinks this place is a haunted house. I laugh at the gullibility of these people.

I kicked the door closed and took a seat on the floor. There were no furnishings in this place except for the mirror. I still need to look good or people will wonder what the hell was going on in here, and come and check it out of curiousity.

I closed my eyes and rested it against the wall. I wonder how long it will take before they give up. A couple of days, two weeks tops. I banged my head against continuously against the wall. Stupid Gerald.

"Why don't you ask those old war buddies of yours to help?" I mocked, copying the old man's hand gestures he did at the time. Soon after I dropped it, letting my hands lay on the ground as though they were dead. Well, they are. Ugh, whatever.

"What do you want me to do, Gerald? Pop out of nowhere and tell them 'Hey guys, sorry I went missing for five years. You see, someone killed me and now I'm a zombie. Want to help me find the guys who did this to me?'"

I hit my head against the wall one last time before standing back up. Yeah, that would work oh-so-well. I paced around the room. Damn, this is lame. It sucks not being able to sleep. I paused in my steps. Maybe I should tell the guys. I shook my head. But dammit, what the hell am I going to tell them? I slammed my fist onto my palm. No, I can't involve them in this. It's not their problem, it's mine. I continued pacing once again. It was all I could do until morning came and I changed my clothing. I checked myself in the mirror before walking back out the door.

I waved hello to a couple of the people walking up and down the streets, all of whom gave me strange looks that held a hint of fear. Oh right, the haunted house. Maybe they think I'm the one controlling the ghosts. Wouldn't that be creepy? I scratched my cheek. What to do? I jammed my hands into the front pocket of my black hoodie, and began walking down the sidewalk. Maybe I should get a job, but the old man did say I shouldn't do anything too strenuous, wouldn't want to break my brittle fingers. My bones just aren't what they used to be. What I would do to go back to working on the scrap yard. I scrunched my eyebrows together. Would I even be able to hold a gun?

I walked past the poles full of my pictures and frowned, wounding my braid tighter around my neck. Those photos weren't there yesterday. Damn, that was fast. They sure know how to work it. Too bad they didn't think about doing it years ago; I probably would have gone straight to them.

I saw an ice cream stand and stuck my hands down my jeans, taking out my wallet. Aw, it's empty. That sucks. I don't really need the ice cream, but it looks so nice and yummy. And it'd give me something to do besides walking around like a buffoon with no destination. I looked across to the other side. There was a bank. Good thing I thought about opening my own separate account that the others don't know about, otherwise it would be a pain in the ass! I looked both sides and quickly made my way across the streets. I cocked an eyebrow. There's no ATM machine. What the hell happened to convenience?

"This is way too much work for ice cream," I grumbled to myself, walking inside the tall, glassed building and immediately groaned out loud at the long line of people. "Of all the days to-" I cut myself off and turned on my heel to leave the building when a couple of people came in. They were covered in black; from pants to shirt, to mask and hat. There was no doubt who they were, and the weapons they held in their hands made it even easier to identify them: robbers.

I pulled my hood over my head. The last thing I needed was for them to notice me, shoot me in the stomach and have the jug leak out its contents. Nope, not what I needed at this moment. That and I promised the old man I wouldn't come back for another week. No need to break my promise.

"EVERYONE DOWN!" One of them shouted. He sounded very shrill, I noted. And he has chestnut brown hair with green eyes. Probably jade. I dropped back onto my hind heels and raised my hand over my head, as though cowering in fear. I shook my body to make it look more realistic than the act that it really was.

My eyebrows shot up to my hairline. They were all holding semi-automatic rifles. That's great, a great pain in my ass. I doubted I can lift those. A loud, high pitch scream broke into the stiff air and I turned to my left. The poor woman was trying to shush her crying child while trembling in horror herself. That's no good. I was about to move in and help her when I felt cold metal at the corner of my head. That's definitely not good.

"What d'ya think you're doing?" Was the low voice at the other end of the gun. I could feel sweat building up at the back of my neck.

"Well, you see, I was going to try to help that poor mother over there with her crying baby because ya know, I don't want to see either of them get killed." I gave a chuckle, albeit nervous from the soft click I just heard.

"You think you're funny? How about I blast your brains out, you stupid mother fucker."

I frowned. Damn, can I hurt him without breaking my bones? Probably not, but it might be worth a try.

"Hey man, there's no need to go around swearing. I'm pretty sure the mother of that child ain't appreciating your language." I really liked dancing with death. Really.

The cold metal pressed harder against my head, as though trying to merge with it.

"Well I ain't appreciating your sense of humor, little man. And unless you want to die, you will shut the fuck up, you hear me?"

Funny, I think he's serious. "Right-o, Mr. Robber, sir." Ow, that stupid shit just hit my head with the butt of his rifle. Asshole, can't even appreciate a little joke.

One of the guys stared at the ringleader near me. "Hey Adam-" a loud gun shot rang through the area, missing the other guy by an inch.

"What did I say about calling out my name during these sessions, huh? Do you want me to blow you into smithereens?" 'Adam' said.

I smirked, the expression hidden by the shadow cast by my hood. These guys were stupider than I thought. At least now I got one of their names, their height, gender, eye colour and hair colour. I wonder what Heero would do to get this information? Probably tie me up and torture me until I tell him. Too bad he's not going to catch me anytime soon. He might have legal rights to hack into systems, but he's not going to find me either way. Damn Preventers, taking him under their wing. What do they need him for anyway? They already have Wufei and Trowa, and sometimes Quatre. Then they go and add Heero on the team. I'll never hear the end of it if they find out I've been under their nose all along. I can imagine the earful I'd receive. Not something I look forward.

"Well, sir, u-um," the guy stuttered.

"What? For God's sake, what the hell do you want?" Adam snapped, raising the gun to face the guy.

The guy swallowed and looked straight at Adam with a nervous stare. "I-it seems someone alerted the Preventers."

Would you look at that. Who knew a person could turn that made shades of red and purple at once. He's going to blow, ladies and gentleman, please remember to use your umbrella and take cover. This is going to get ugly.

"WHAT?" Just as soon as he said that, his head blew up. I lowered my head in time for the bits and pieces of his brain that splattered against my body. That, was gross. Apparently I wasn't the only one who thought that. The mother from before screeched loudly alongside her child, and the men huddling in the corner hoarsely screamed as well. The women behind the counters were crying mercilessly and hugging each other, all becoming very pale. I think I was the only one who hadn't reacted that badly. The other robbers started running around like headless chicken. Without their leader giving them orders, they were at a loss of what to do.

That, in my dictionary, is not good at all. Because this is the point where they'll start raising their tiny, little guns and shooting everyone in sight if no one stops them in time. And by no one, I meant the Preventers.

Would you look at that, I was right. The robbers started yelling at each other.

"Holy mother fuc-"

"What the fu-"

"We're all going to die!"

"SHUT UP!"

Damn, there was a level-headed person amongst the idiots. You don't get that too often. Well, this is where this person says they need to take a hostage.

"We need to take a hostage."

Yep, bingo. I knew it, this always happen in all those stupid movies you see all the time. They're going to take someone vulnerable and weak, someone who can't fight back. It's going to be-

"Leave the child there and grab the woman."

I hate being right. It sucks because then it just makes it all the more depressing. I scrunched my eyebrows together. I can't let this happen. If this woman gets killed, what's going to happen to the child? I sighed inwardly. I hate being the hero. I'm more of a sidekick, ya know?

As I prepped myself for it, a gas bomb was thrown in through the window, breaking the glass. I cocked an eyebrow. That was _really _subtle. It gave the Robbers a big fright though, and they started shooting their barrels at the window, woman laid forgotten on the ground, holding tightly onto her child. I quickly got into a crouching position and made my way to her, jerking her to the back where the other men were. Why is it that banks only have one exit? This is the stupidest shit ever. Hopefully they'll learn their lesson and build one after this.

Soon after, mist covered the place and the robbers ran out of bullets and were swearing their heads off at one another. One man even started sobbing at the aspect of being caught and thrown into prison, or worse, being tortured to death.

Figurines started appearing as the mist surrounding the bank got thinner.

"Drop your weapons and put your hands up in the air where we can see them," one man said with a gas mask over his face.

They all dropped their rifles and put their hands on the back of their head, stepping forward and getting handcuffed and placed into a car. While that was going on, I was trying to calm the crying woman.

"Hey now, there's no need to cry anymore. Look, you're scaring your kid." I looked at the toddler's red face and puffy eyes. He was probably scared out of his wits, not knowing what was going on and what had scared his mother into screeching like a banshee. The woman calmed down a bit after that, cooing at her child and allowing a sob to escape now and then. Looks my good deed for the day is finally done.

Everyone was being evacuated and I stood, stretching my hands over head and followed the others out of the bank. Once out, I started walking down the sidewalk when I was suddenly pulled back. I let out a cry of surprise and turned to give the stranger who grabbed my arm a piece of my mind and was suddenly shocked at the sight.

"Duo?"

Aw shit, "Trowa?"

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**I got around to writing another chapter. :) Laziness behold! It caught me and wouldn't let go. Anyway, you know the drill. R&R**


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